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V-Day Feeling: sick, slightly stressed Happy Valentine's Day It's weird, or then again maybe it's not, but today didn't much feel like Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because i'm single or maybe it's because i've spent the last week holed up in bed trying desperately to overcome this evil virus that has decided to take my body hostage. I was able to talk Buddha into coming over and hanging out for a few hours. He brought the requested 'cheeseburger happymeal' which i could barely swallow. My voice is pretty messed up but i thought my throat was fine. Apparently not. Even breaking the sandwich up into teeny tiny bite-sized pieces didn't allow me to get more than 1/3 of the burger down. The sad thing is, i WANT to eat. I've had moments where i've been HUNGRY.. i just can't swallow anything. In the week that i've been sick, i've lost about 10 pounds. Insane. I'd better be able to swallow by tomorrow or i'm gonna be pissed. I realize i didn't mention this in my last entry.. but i went to (and returned from) San Diego last week. The trip started out fairly decent.. i basically wanted to go to explore the city more, on my own. Get a feel for it, to see if i really could imagine living there. I'll admit I like it.. but i'm still torn. Throw in the fact that every time i step foot in that city, something bad happens.. this trip was no exception. However, it's actually a pretty personal and traumatic thing.. amazingly, way too much for this outlet. so in a rare move, i'm simply not going to discuss it in detail. For the most part, i'm ok. I mean, i've found a way to just not think (read: deal) about it. The weird thing is.. i sort of made a friend through it. But i feel guilty maintaining a friendship with this person as anyone else in my shoes would probably never give the guy the time of day after what happened. So, i'm torn. big surprise. The words of my friend Jessica keep running through my head: "Casey has to be BFF with everyone." Not quite sure why i put myself through stuff like this.. but believe me, i'm trying.
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