The sweetest thing..
Sat. 11.20.04 - 9:23 a.m.

Feeling: cheery
Listening: paula abdul
Quote:

The sweetest thing happened to me on my way out the door this morning. While i work in SJ, i stay at my boss's place. She has 5 children, one of whom is 3 years old. He's the cutest little boy. Anyway, on my way out of the house this morning, i ran into him. He wrapped his arms around my legs and wouldn't let me leave the house. It was just the sweetest thing and made me think about how i miss having kids around. In my line of work, i deal with a lot of moms. Lately, i've found myself having thoughts about what my own future will be like, the kind of parent i'll be, the children i'll have.. it's scary. I'm certainly not ready for parenthood.. but what about marriage? Geez, i feel like i'm still 19 years old. Who would want to marry me? I'm such a kid. I see these moms and i think, "wow, they're so grown up." Will i ever become one of them? I hope i mature.. but i don't think i ever want to 'grow up'.

Another odd little thing happened to me this morning. Adam text messaged me. Well, he actually messaged me last night to say good night (something he hasn't done in quite a while) and then again this morning. This time it said "call me when you wake up." I got worried, assumed the only reason he'd be messaging me was because something was wrong. So i called him right away (stupid mistake). Apparently he had 24-hour duty and was just getting off of work and wanted to chat with me. He had some funny stories he wanted to share with me. We used to always do that to eachother. Every time we'd talk, we'd have some funny story to share. Especially when he was in Iraq.. i'd always email him and tell him about some funny/stupid thing i'd done that week. Every time we'd talk, he'd say, "tell me a funny story!" and i'd say "but i don't have any stories" and he'd reply, "oh come on. you're the funniest girl i know.. you ALWAYS have funny stories" and then i'd proceed to tell him some retarded thing that happened to me. We haven't swapped stories in a while.. at some point he stopped being interested in what i had to say or what was going on in my life. It's just as well. I only talked to him for a few minutes then told him i had to go get ready for work. I admit, i miss his friendship.. but then i remind myself that a real friendship wouldn't have fallen apart so easily.

Speaking of real friendships though, i bought my ticket to San Diego! Woohoo. I'm finally doing something fun for new year's. hehe.. last year i made a resolution to go to NY for new year's. I actually thought about flying there.. but then decided that 1. it's about time John and I hung out and 2. everyone says i'm NUTS for wanting to be in NY on new year's (i'll just have to go in 2006 and see for myself =P). So i'll be spending about 3 days there. I'm excited (and scared out of my mind!).

previous   next