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true friendship and guilt Feeling: weepy and drained "hey." "hey what's up? you sound like shit" "duh, i told you- i'm sick." "Do you need anything?" "No. i just called cuz i'm bored." "I need more calls like that. heh" "heh." "Sure you don't need anything? Medicine? Doctor? Emergency room?" "haha no i'm fine, but yeah, i'm scared.. it's not getting better dude." "want me to come?" "...yeah" "ok i'm coming." "you promise?" "yeah i'm already on my way." My ex. He lives an HOUR away. As soon as i hung up the phone with him i just started crying. I don't know why. Maybe i do. Maybe it's overwhelming to know that someone in this world cares about me enough to know that i needed a friend even when i really didn't expect one or even knew that i wanted one. Especially him. I haven't written about this on here but we've had a lot of talks recently.. he's started to move on, he's been dating and we both understand that there will never be anything between us ever again. He's said that he won't get over how i hurt him but he wants a friend and you know, however mean he can be... there are times like these where i see how much he would do for me if i really needed it and it's just so... overwhelming. It makes me feel guilty too. Like he shouldn't care so much. Why do i feel so guilty for someone caring this way about me when it's the way i wish everyone cared about me? When it's the way i care about everyone else?
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