Sushi, Anyone?
Fri. 05.14.04 - 7:44 a.m.

Feeling: sliiiight nervousness but it's really nothin.
Listening: take on me - A-ha
Quote: The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. -Maureen Dowd

argh. I can't believe it's Friday already. I have to leave for work in about an hour. I work until 7pm tonight and then... yeah. That get-together thingy with military boy.

I'm kinda sorta freaked out a little. Not for the normal reasons though. Well, i guess it is normal but not normal the way that it's not a normal reason for people in this situation.

you get what i'm saying?

ehh i'm weird. and i can't speak english apparently. So anyhow, i'm trying to just relax, take it easy, not even stress over it because all i can be is me. all i can look like is me. and if someone doesn't like that, oh well. that's their opinion, they're entitled to it. It doesn't mean that everyone feels that way or that it's true.

So i think i'm good now. I'm calm. I'm cool. I'm collected. annd.. i'm going to just treat this like what it is.. a hanging out. and i'm going to have fun. =)

It's funny how everyone's been giving me advice. It's totally welcomed. Though I should probably consider getting a new set of friends. That aren't so... eh, see for yourself.

I actually told my sister about the get together thing. She probably had some of the worst (yet hilarious) things to say:

He�s in the Coast Guard? His body must be nice!

You know what they do overseas, don�t you? hehe

You�ll be like sex in the city!

Is your hair still orange?

Whatever you do, pull out your wallet reaaaaally slowly. I�m just saying. Cuz I know your budget�s tight. hehehe

You don�t take me seriously do you? I mean, you know I�m not serious all the time right? wait. but you don�t NOT take me seriously all the time either, right?

I think M was the only one that had serious advice to offer (between games of pool of course): It�s the nice ones you have to watch out for. He also said, �judge people by their actions, NOT what they say.� Simple, yet very very true.

Last night I had this conversation with Buddha. heh

hamak0san: two things
hamak0san: #1
hamak0san: i've taken the #15 bus a few times
hamak0san: i just learned today that...
hamak0san: the #15? she goes RIGHT THROUGH HUNTER'S POINT /bayview
hamak0san: no wonder i've been scared whenever i was on the bus!
hamak0san: #2
hamak0san: i was going to actually take the #15 Tomorrow night (around 10pm) for my date.. IN MY DRESS
hamak0san: until i found this out
hamak0san: what a DUMBARSE I am
hamak0san: you�re right. it really is a miracle i am alive
hamak0san: that is all. carry on.
buddha: swastika i tell u
buddha: dont wear dress. cold windy at nite
hamak0san: but all i have is jeans
hamak0san: that's not very nice
hamak0san: i mean, not that i'm trying to impress him but it's fun to dress up
hamak0san: maybe i'll dig out my long coat from the back of my closet in one of the bins
buddha: Might as well go all the way n bust out the f me boots. since not a date hehe
hamak0san: ITS NOT
hamak0san: and i'd only take the coat cuz youuuuu said it would be cold!
buddha: Issues man. 13 going on 24

Later, I talked to Pohae and she had these wonderful bits of advice to offer:

pohae: hello
pohae: you still have the porno buddy icon thing up...
pohae: hehehe - that should be your new slogan
pohae: DUDE - the one time in like forever I can IM you, you not even thea
pohae: HELLO
pohae: if a person IMs someone who is not there, but no one can hear it...did they really IM them?
pohae: Ponder those thoughts oh might one....
pohae: another thought to ponder on.....
pohae: ponder
pohae: ponder
pohae: try it with me. just say it - it'll crack you up.
pohae: hehehe
hamak0san: hahahh you dork
pohae: sorry - spazzed mid typing there....
pohae: YOU THERE
pohae: i was getting all philosophical with myself....
pohae: is not that hard you know.....
hamak0san: haha yeah sorry was in the shower
hamak0san: and now i'm trying on clothes for my thingy tomorrow
pohae: OOOHHHH - what are you wearing?
pohae: open the door with the whip cream thing like on varsity blues and he'll be oh so happy.
pohae: HEY THERE
hamak0san: ugh i'm stressed over it
pohae: why?
pohae: WHY
hamak0san: becauuuuuse
pohae: are you only answering when i use big letters?
hamak0san: lol no
hamak0san: hehe ok loser. so here's the thing
hamak0san: he asked me to go out and i just thought, you know what.. maybe i should because i need to get the hell out of the house and i need to get over my fear of meeting people and now i'm just scared he won't like me!!!
hamak0san: what if he doesnt like the way i look
pohae: stop IMing me. i trying to read.
hamak0san: what if he thinks I�m fat
hamak0san: argh
hamak0san: this SUCKS. why did I agree to this. blahh
pohae: STOP IT _ WAIT
hamak0san: i mean, if he doesnt like the way i look, that's cool cuz why do you want someone who doest want you
hamak0san: it's just that i'm afraid of how AWKWARD itll be once he says.. "sorry you're ugly."
hamak0san: then i have to do that long walk back to my bus or train�
hamak0san: heh
pohae: huh?
pohae: so?
hamak0san: so it's just... it hurts one's self esteem ya know?
pohae: it's called opinions dear
pohae: WHO GIVES A RIP
pohae: don't care what he thinks.....
pohae : he not important yet
pohae: wait til he important ....then wonder
hamak0san: hmmm you know what? you're totally right
pohae: by then you can ask him
hamak0san: yeah i think i've been stressing over this way too much
pohae: then he'll give you the RIGHT answer. which will be yes...
pohae: :-)
hamak0san: i should just relax, go have fun and if he doesn't like me... oh well. dun matter cuz I wasn�t so into him anyway. i'm fine. god youre' so right
pohae: be YOU - not what YOU think you should be like - don't be afraid.
pohae: I KNOW HOW YOU ARE - you can't hide from me.....BE YOU AS YOU ARE
pohae: you are wonderful, beautiful, intelligent and sincere....
pohae: trustworthy and kind
pohae: let it show girl - they'll drop like flies at your feet
hamak0san: aww you�re gonna make me cry
hamak0san: you're the best, you know?
pohae: then again, you could also have the same reaction if you dress like a ho....HAHAHAHAHA

We talked more on the phone later.

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