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dakine Feeling: happy Suddenly my life seems to have picked up. Yay for chaos. I picked up my schedule for work for the next week- i start Sunday. I'm kinda nervous.. hopefully i don't eff this up. =) I actually have next tues, wed, thurs off.. so i'm thinking of going down to Morgan Hill to visit K. I haven't seen her since.. SEPTEMBER! ugh. i might come home wed. or thurs., i'm not sure yet. Either way, i have to figure out how to take the train down - FINALLY. That'll be an adventure! Speaking of trains. I impressed myself with being able to find my way using the train and around the city - WITH NO MAP! I had an interview this morning at the Ac@demy of Art Un|vers|ty. I thought it went pretty well but i've been wrong about these things before and i'm sure there are a lot of other people fighting for this position. I'm really not even going to think about it because I have a job now, so i can relax a little. I get to take my time to look for something that'll really fit me. I actually almost didn't go to my interview this morning. I felt a little antisocial and thought about just screwing the interview.. but ended up talking to a really good friend who brought me to my senses. It got me to thinking. Whenever i'm not willing to do something that's good for me, at least i'll do it because i'd hate to look like an ass in the eyes of everyone - like my friends who have been REALLY supportive about everything throughout my move. Okay this is going to sound stupid.. but i think i accidentally joined a match site. no joke. hehe i thought it was just like some kind of slang book/friendster kinda thingy. i swear. but i dunno, maybe i'll make FRIENDS through it, so we'll see how that goes. i've actually gotten a few emails from some people.. 2 of which seem normal and great friend material. Plus they don't live too far away, so yay! ehh, but that's getting WAY ahead. While i was on the phone with K last night, she asked if i had heard from Y. I told her we actually talk just about every day and have managed to maintain a friendship.. which i think only gets better as the days pass. I DID tell her a few things that he's said to me over the past two weeks that i wasn't sure how to interpret. She seems to think he still.... cares. I think that he just (for whatever reason) feels like he needs to "take care of me." Which i find upsetting- i don't need anyone to take care of me. I certainly don't WANT any help- ESPECIALLY from a man. But i think that's just the way he is. And although he's said some odd things, i think for 1. he realizes just how much i DID care about him. How much i loved him. He's made a lot of.. unhealthy relationships recently (he's been partying a LOT) and because of that, 2. he's trying to hold on to something, IMO the only LOVING, REAL relationship he's ever had with a person. So no, i don't think he still has feelings. I think we both love each other, but we're not IN love. Sounds cliche' but it's true. I want him to be happy and i know that when he's ready, he'll find someone who compliments him and whom he'll appreciate and love more than he ever thought possible. And i'll be really genuinely happy for him. I just got home about 30 minutes ago from the interview and such. There was a box on the porch from my mom and sister. Sweet, huh? They told me they had sent me something but wouldn't tell me what it was. I pretty much guessed that it would be snacks. Was I right?  THEY SENT ME MACADAMIA NUTS! I'm FROM Hawaii! Have they forgotten this? Hehe don't get me wrong. I'm REALLY grateful. It truly is the thought that counts.. but c'mon! send me stuff that you wouldn't send a tourist. Gotta say though.. i'm eyeing that chocolate. Time of the month comin' up and all, ya know. hehehe.. i just went into the kitchen to get some water and saw that M has already attacked the box of chocolates and the mac nuts. better him than me. SO i think i'm going to get something to eat, rest my tummy while catching up on emails and go for a run. ugh. i haven't gone in a few days. this is going to hurt. ciao.
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