Just like Jello, but not as jiggly
Sun. 03.07.04 - 10:44 a.m.

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heheh i almost typed my entry in the date field. TAB, girl! Use the TAB key! blah

I have SO much on my mind! But they're not going to all be in one entry. I'm weird and anal and i like things organized so each entry is ONE subject (most of the time at least).

anywho.

let's get crackin'.

Just a fair warning, the following entry is a rant. If you don't feel like hearing about my non-trivial issues, just move on to the next entry. With that in mind, here we go (for real now).

There's this event called the Scrapb00k Exp0 that goes to cities throughout the year. It's where vendors and retailers gather to sell merchandise and showcase new products. It's a HUGE deal (to scrapbookers at least). The store i (sort of) work at has a booth at the exp0 every time they come to town.

This year, my "boss" asked me to make some journals for her to sell there. I was kind of honored.. until she started copying my designs and making her own journals (using my idea). Really now, why would you ask me to make them if you're going to make your own? The whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way. Since then, i've noticed she's copied a lot of my other work as well. I was in the store recently and she had copied a layout i did EXACTLY, just used different paper for a class she was going to do. The reason it bothered me so much is this: you just took my idea, will teach a class on it, make money from that.. and you didn't even do any of the work! PLUS i don't get any creative credit for it! How wrong is that? Argh. Maybe i shouldn't complain if i continue to do things for her.. but i'm not doing anything creative for her ever again as, after the exp0 i'll only be working on her website.

Funny thing happened though while i was at the exp0 on Fri. I ran into one of the girls from the NEW place i've been teaching classes at and she told me how on Thurs. night as the vendors were setting up at the fairgrounds, she ran into the KS booth and saw my "boss'" journals (mines weren't there yet) and said "hey! did Casey make these?!" to which she was told that no, my books would be there tomorrow. She agreed with me how the whole thing was just weird. Lots of other people made comments like that as well. but whatever. I guess i should look at it this way. People like my stuff, they recognize my style, and i sold them to "her" so i've already made my $. I guess it's hard for me to think that way though, because i really truly DON'T do it for the money. Of COURSE the money's nice or whatever. it's a great feeling when you get paid to do something you love. but that's NOT why i do it. I do it because i love it, and THAT'S the difference between me and her. I really feel it shows in what you do, too. If your heart is in it.

Anyhow, i'm rambling. I had a lot of fun in SJ. I was actually dreading the whole thing, which is strange for me because i love all that stuff. I remember being SO excited at my first show- and that was just last year! Most of my excitement came from running into people i knew. I saw Anita (one of my friends i lost touch with over the last few months) and a few other people. I also saw a lot of my old customers who, since the business was sold and i hadn't worked there during the day or even at all lately, i hadn't seen them in a while. It's such a great feeling to know that they still remember you and compliment you on your stuff. One of them, i actually got to know pretty well in that we're planning on going to lunch the next time she's in the city (argh that reminds me, i need to email her my address).

The whole thing was good in that.. it got me to thinking how my life isn't as empty as i once thought it was. I know more people than i thought i did. I HAVE made an impact on people [in that they remember me, not that i should will a nobel prize for it ;)].

So yeah, i had fun in SJ. I'm not sure i missed it yet, though. Maybe because i haven't been gone for very long (though it seems like i've been here for a month!). I think i just miss the familiarity. The not knowing where anything is, is a little frustrating, ESPECIALLY when i have to rely on public trans. to get anywhere. but i'm not complaining. I had this conversation with Rho just yesterday (she just moved to Seattle). We were talking about how every day is an adventure and it's liberating too, when you realize what you've accomplished on your own.

God, i can't wait to see where i am a year from now. I hope i'm happy. =) I'm happy now, but like jello, there's always room for more.

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