Not Enough Time In The Day
Fri. 02.06.04 - 2:57 p.m.

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Here's a quick entry as i'm not real sure i'll have time for updating this weekend.

Last night i went into the city to check out a place in North Beach.. the roommates were really cool and the location was awesome (actually just up the street from the other place i went to look at the other night). The only thing is that room is super small. But i don't think i'll be there that much, and i'm not even picky at this point. The night went pretty well, but just two things bothered me a little. The ex came with me again and he made a comment on how he felt that i wasn't being my usual perky, friendly self when talking with the potential roomies. Ugh. i have to admit he's probably right- as much as i can be friendly i DO take a while to warm up to most people.. it's the stupid shyness. blahh somehow i'm going to have to find a way to get over it if i intend on finding a place anytime soon. SO actually, that wasn't a bad thing, having him come with me.. it allowed for someone to kinda judge me on how i may have been screwing up. BUT there was one thing he said later on that irritated me.

We were in the car on the way home and he goes "You know, if you had told me you wanted to live in SF it would have just been easier if you had told me this before, then i could have found us a place in the city before you moved here." I wanted so badly to tell him to fuq off. He's SO FULL OF IT! He's ALWAYS hated the city. It's just been recently since i've been having him come along with me, and he's seen the better parts of the city, the exciting parts.. and maybe even my excitement about it all that he's said "hey it's not so bad here." The damn liar. We even had FIGHTS about the fact that i wanted to live in the city and he didn't. How quickly some people forget. but whatever. I just held my tongue and stared out the window. I'm not sorry i did.. we've been getting along (aka he's been nice to me) and i really don't want to ruin that so if it means i have to suck it up and let him talk shit, i will. We actually had a nice time last night, i think.

Tonight i have to work till midnight. It's not really a bad thing, i usually have fun with this shift.. i'm more of a night person, it's just that i have so many things to do this weekend. But while i'm at work, I'm going to try to get as many journals done as i can. I've actually run out of composition tablets to work with, so i picked up 25 of them today at Target. Yay for Sales (they were 77 cents)! Anyhow, yeah.. wish me luck on being able to cover all 25 of them tonight.

I work all day saturday, then sunday i have to drive up to the city to look at a few more places. The only time i'll really be home this weekend is saturday night. hehe i have no problem saying that i am looking forward to spending SATURDAY NIGHT at HOME, ALONE.

ugh. i need peace and quiet. i also need time. more TIME!

I finally was able to get a free moment to take john's present to the post office today. ugh i'm such a suckass friend.. his bday was Tuesday! i still have to send out some other cards and stuff to people.. i dunno i just feel like everything's in chaos right now. my place is a mess and i can't think straight when it's like that. Why don't i just clean it, you ask? well 1. i have no time, and 2. it's not really my mess.. a lot of it is the ex's and i can't clean up my stuff as his things will still be strewn about the living room floor.. making my efforts and precious time spent cleaning.. essentially pointless.

So yeah, i have stuff to do, not enough time, i'm emotionally drained, a little bit sick of myself and my situation. But i'm used to this i think. Right now, i'm just trying to figure out a way to grow up faster and not appear so damn immature and naive.

Other than that.. i'm actually having a good day. I saw jim earlier, stopped by his place to pick up that Korean movie he suggested i see. blah don't even ASK me when i'm gonna find the time to watch it. Maybe Sat. night? I still have to watch Godfather, Scarface and Kissing Jessica Stein. And don't even get me STARTED on all the books i've been meaning to read.

Anyhow, i've already wasted 30 minutes typing this.. but in a way, i don't really look at it as wasted time, because it helped me vent. um yeah.

late.

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