Current - Random - Archive - Profile - LOL - Host - Email - Notes - Guestbook |
||
The Mean Flirt Feeling: So i was thinking about this the other day and i wanted to make a note of it here so i can try to remember to change it or something. I've noticed that sometimes, when i'm into someone.. hehe i'm actually mean to them. lol well not MEAN i guess, but i'll make jokes/tease them. I guess it could be construed as my way of flirting (or at least one of them). Unfortunately, this usually comes across (to the person being made fun of) that i think they're not so cool when in actuality i think they're pretty gosh darn swell. I must say though just because i do this, doesn't mean i'm seriously interested. Sometimes i'll just do it to someone i'm physically attracted to.. doesn't mean i actually want to date them. I'm confusing and there's several reasons i do this. For one, it hides the fact that i like the person from them as well as myself sometimes. hehe.. i mean, if i'm dissing them then they won't know i think they're neat. It could also be a defense mechanism of some sort. Attempting to protect myself from their "coolness" by trying to convince myself that they're not as great as they really are and i don't like them. And sometimes, well sometimes i'm just being playful by teasing because i find them slightly attractive (again, not necessarily that i would date them). umm yeah i'm confusing and also a dork. I've actually always kinda known this about myself because i had it pointed out to me by some guy i was seeing once upon a time. But i haven't really thought about it for so long. Mostly because i haven't really been in the postion to flirt with anyone for the past 4 years. But i guess recently with the newfound singledom i'm kinda having to deal with all this stuff. blahh THIS is exactly why i need to be alone for a while.. i have too much other stuff to deal with myself on without having all these other complicated feelings in the mix. hehe.. so i told Rho that i'm thinkin maybe around May i'll be cool, though she keeps trying to get me to bump it up to March. lol
|
||
|