Lessons of the Heart: The Greatest X-mas Gift Ever
Wed. 12.24.03 - 12:23 p.m.

Feeling:
Listening:
Quote:

I feel good today.

no, scratch that. I feel great.

It's funny though, nothing's really changed in the past couple days except for my newfound desire to be happy with myself. i'm content. or maybe it's just the comfortably numb talking, but i don't think so.. whatever it is, it's good. i know i'm gonna be ok.

The last time I talked to Ethan he had this whole speech to me about how he thought so highly of me, that i'm such an amazing person and that he's certain i'm destined for greatness. I'm starting to think that was his way of letting me know that he was leaving and that i'd be ok without him. If that's the case, thanks Ethan. I'm trying to take the best from it all, just like the last time. heh you would think i'd have learned from the last time, but ah well.. i've always been stubborn when i want something.

I read something the other day.. and it's kinda helped me a little through this. It went something like this:

Everyone comes into our lives for a purpose. To teach us something. To contribute to our lives in some way. Once they have completed this task, it's time for them to move on. Sometimes this process takes years, sometimes just minutes. Sometimes you're the person making the contribution, sometimes you're the one in need of the lesson.

In this case, i was the one in need of the lesson. And i'm really fine with that.. he really did have an amazing impact on me. Something i'll keep with me forever.

I also learned something recently.. actually my friend John was kind enough to point it out. Yeah, i have a heart that gives itself completely, and yes it can be a weakness.. but if i guard it with my head until i'm certain the situation is safe enough to let my heart go.. then i'll be just fine. So now it's all about learning to put that theory to work. I think i can handle that..

Seriously, I feel wicked awesome.

Happy Christmas Eve Everyone!

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