Current - Random - Archive - Profile - LOL - Host - Email - Notes - Guestbook |
||
Awakened Feeling: hehehee... my mom cracks me up. i'm on the phone with her right now as i'm typing this.. and i SHOULD be annoyed, hehe but all i can do is laugh. It's funny how the standards she holds for me, she doesn't feel like she has to live up to them as well. OK, so you're pissed at me because i don't call home anymore? uhm you don't call me either! I used to call home every day.. several times in fact. And within the past two months, i've probably talked to her 5 times. My life is really chaotic at the moment.. shit has been thrown at me in all directions lately. I'm also going through this thing where i just want to be left alone, to gather my thoughts. Recouperate. I hate it when she discusses me with my ex. Like i'm a child. So what if he's 27 and i'm 23. Despite the way i act sometimes and try to deny it, i really do have a good head on my shoulders. I know what I want, and what's best for me. I feel like no one knows the real me. Maybe that's my fault.. maybe i haven't allowed anyone in.. but i did let Ethan in. Look where that got me, though. Part of me didn't want to let go because it meant that i'd lose the only person who knew me to the core. The person who knew all my deepest darkest secrets and loved me despite them. No scratch that. He loved me for them. Who wouldn't want someone like that in their life? but anyways, i'm getting sidetracked. The thing is.. as much as my mom and my ex want to think that they know me, the truth is they don't. The mere fact that they believe i can't make it on my own just serves as proof. I've said this before, and I'll say it again.. they'll see in the end. I hope i don't sound bitter, because i'm really not. I'm actually looking forward to the challenge. heh. and i guess i can understand where they're coming from, too. I haven't exactly shined these past 4 years. But it's kind of like a sleeping dragon.. you don't know the full extend of its power till it's been awakened. but guess what? I've been awakened.
|
||
|