Reflection
Wed 09.05.01 - 11:59 a.m.

Feeling:
Listening:
Quote:

Wednesday! Yippee this week is almost over! So happy. There are just two things weighing me down:

1. Worrying about EDS finding me a job. I want the severence package! I'm hoping to go to Hawaii for a month in November/December instead of two weeks. The severence package would allow me to do that without a struggle. =)) hehe..

2. For some reason, I just keep thinking about what happened in NY. I guess it's the fact that I have to work with Nora, and we're both not talking AT ALL. And I just keep thinking about how she's probably told all of our mutual friends here at work her side of the story and of course I've probably come out as the bad guy even though I was the one that was abandoned and lied to. I wish i didn't care so much about what people think.

Hehe.. ok I guess I have a little pent up rage there. I was hoping that releasing it all into my diary would make me feel better, but It still hurts, you know? And to have to see her EVERY DAY makes it hard to forget. Kind of keeps the wound still fresh, so there's no chance for healing. I guess I just wish that she would say "SORRY, I made a mistake." Even if we can no longer be friends, I'd still like to hear that. But I guess I shouldn't hold my breath.

I called my mom last night and told her about my trip to New York. She was really upset. It made me feel good to know that she cared, even if she never says so. She pointed out the fact that my sisters and I are all like this - so naive and unwilling to see the harsher side of people (and life), even when they've hurt us so bad. But isn't this childlike innocence what adults wish they still had as they've grown older? I guess there's a difference between being innocent and naive.

Not so naive anymore,
Hamako

previous   next