she runs
08.17.04 - 11:58 a.m.

Feeling: hurt, vulnerable, angry, tired, stressed.. like not just walking, but RUNNING away from everything.
Listening: don't cry - guns and roses
Quote:

What does a girl do when she's scared? What does she do when she's hurt beyond belief? What does she do when she realizes that there's no one left to trust or count on?

There was this point in my relationship with Y... where i realized he saw me different. He saw me in a way that i've always dreaded someone seeing me and i saw how he didn't like what he saw. Maybe some of it was really there, maybe some of it wasn't, but i think after that day..

i don't think i ever completely trusted him again.

When i was told 'i love you' or 'i care about you' or anything else of that sort.. I never trusted those words. And now.. when I get the slightest hint that someone has seen, or is about to see me that way, it makes me want to just ... walk away.

I'm scared. I'm a chicken. I'll admit to that.

But it's better to be a chicken than to have to face the fact that anyone you ever trusted to love you.. eventually finds a reason not to.

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