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just a pawn in this game called life Feeling: STRESSED! I woke up this morning in a great mood. heh.. John actually woke me up but I didn't tell him. I think he'd yell at me if he knew that. We had an appointment to play chess online at 10am. I didn't go to bed until early this morning, and despite the fact that I wasn't tired, I simply didn't want to get out of bed. I just felt too sore from the cramps to move. I think it was also an effort to prevent my day from starting. But yeah, he messaged me around 9:55am. I got up and read what he'd written; something about how he was only messaging me once because i needed my sleep. lol I laid my head back on my pillow for a few minutes.. then thought about how for 1. i didn't want to be a bum and 2. i certainly didn't want to go back on my word with him. I said i'd play at 10am, and i should. Plus I wanted to behind all of my laziness. I wanted to take a quick shower before the game but he wouldn't let me. LOL So i had to play while feeling icky. That's the only reason I lost to him, you know. =P Afterwards, I took a shower and got ready for work. Ash called me about 10 minutes before I was supposed to leave the house. "Hey stranger- what have you been up to?" We talked for a while and before I knew it, I was running late. Actually, I didn't even really hang up with her- someone else called in on our second line, i answered (it was for Monkey) and told him he had a phone call. Forgot my sister was on the other line and booked it out the front door just as my bus was passing the house. Needless to say, I was late for work. I'm brilliant. I was in a bad mood when I first got into work because it's just SO not me to be late and irresonsible when it comes to work. I know I can be a procrastinator and screw up sometimes, but work- I take seriously. Didn't take long for my mood to disappear.. even though work was INSANE. I'll actually write more on that tomorrow though. I get home tonight and i'm just so STRESSED OUT. I just FEEL IT physically. Pressure. Stress. Urgency. All these thoughts floating around in my head. Thoughts of things to be done. Things that require my attention. People I need to get in touch with. I think it started as soon as I walked into my room and realized that not only did i have a mess to clean, but there was an envelope with my HS transcripts sitting on my bed. It just came in the mail from Hawaii and Monkey put it in my room. It's just screaming at me "HURRY UP AND GET THIS TAKEN CARE OF"! I dont even know what schools i'm applying to anymore! Everything's confusing again and I know that's no excuse not to deal with it. But I can't even write my essays because in about 10 minutes i'm going to get started on my layouts for September which need to be turned in on Tuesday. How i'm going to shell out three full-spreads in a day and a half, I have no idea. I need to get this done though. Then i can start working on my essays and getting this school thing taken care of. Did I mention I'm stressed out? It's probably not helping much that i've gone back to barely eating.
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