easy way out
08.02.04 - 11:13 p.m.

Feeling: pissed
Listening: goodbye - jagged edge
Quote:

I must be the biggest idiot in the world.

I stayed away. I didnt want to, but it's what he wanted, right? Maybe i was doing it because i was scared too.. but still.

I caved, like i knew i would. We talked tonight and i started to think that maybe there was hope.. maybe things could be fixed. Then he pulled some crap out of nowhere about going to bed. Not to sound insensitive or anything but i barely got in 4 hours last night. or the night before. or the night before that. i've been at work early every morning for the last couple of days. i dont nap when i get home. So yeah, excuse me if i'm just a tad annoyed that he bolts for bed while i'm running on barely any sleep. I just think it's so FUCKING insensitive, disrespectful and unfair to walk out in the middle of a conversation. I don't even know what he was thinking. I mean, was he scared off? Did he have something on his mind? Or is he just an insensitive jerk?

You know, it took a lot for me to come out from behind my wall tonight to talk to him. It really did. To have him take the easy way out. To just brush me aside like nothing..

I'm so unbelievably angry and hurt right now. It makes me question everything. What the hell's he trying to do? Did he contact me just to find out if i still cared?

God, i hate men. I can't keep letting myself get hurt like this. I love him but that doesn't make it ok to hurt me. Knowing that my love is unconditional doesn't mean that you can pull anything and i'm supposed to take you back.

I do have a breaking point. I don't think he realizes how close he is to it.

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