Midnight Madness
Sat. 12.19.03 - 11:56 p.m.

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Listening:
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I seriously need to stop eating so late at night. ugh! the past week or so, i've found myself hungry after 9. it's so bad! i think it's because i don't even have a first meal till late in the day.. usually around 4. Tonight was supposed to be different though! tonight i wasn't hungry.. i was just going to Rho's house for some girl-talk while she highlighted my hair. hehe.. i didn't get to her house till 10:15 p.m. and the first thing she asked me when i pulled up was "are you hungry? i'm starving!" haha.. and of course she had to mention Pasta Pomodoro.. so we went there. ugh. i'm sorry.. i used to love that place once upon a time but gawd i'm so sick of it. come to think of it, i'm sick of food in general. maybe i'm just saying that right now because my stomach is so full.. but seriously, i'm never eating another meal ever again! After dinner i ended up just dropping her off at home.. we decided to reschedule the hair thing for next monday.

The scariest thing happened when i got home though.. there wasn't any parking spaces near my apartment, so i had to park in our reserved spot (which is way the hell over in china). SO imagine this.. it's almost midnight, practically pitch black because the lamp posts around the complex don't give off enough light, i'm alone, and it's a hella long walk back to my apartment. I'm walking along the path.. and i see this guy standing in the middle of the walkway. His back is to me, but he's just standing there.. like, weird. Not moving, making no sign that he's even aware that i'm approaching even though i'm trying to be a little noisy so he at least turns around so i can see what i'm up against.. haha but the guy never moves... until i'm practically right next to him, i walk around him.. onto the grass even, because i'm trying to keep a safe distance.. but he freaks me the hell out by moving towards me. ahhhh ok i'm getting creeped out just thinking about it. blahh anyways, so as i picked up my pace i could hear him say hello over my shoulder.. but i just got the hell outta there. seriously, all you men out there.. do a girl a favor and just stay away from her at night, ok? it's a creepy world out there and i really don't have the heart to handle a situation like that in the middle of the night even if you are just trying to be friendly. blah

moving right along..

I would have to say the highlight of evening though.. was the message left on my screen from Ethan. Blah i'm so bummed i missed him, but i suppose there's always tomorrow.

Gosh, i love him. ugh words can't even describe! How is it, that another human being could be such the perfect compliment to myself? I swear it's like he was made just for me. hmm.. or maybe me for him since i'm younger. but whatever the case, you get the point.. he's perfect for me. It scares me to death how great he is for me though.. i'm afraid i don't deserve to be this happy, i'll screw it up somehow, give him a reason to go away. I'm trying not to think about that part though.. and just be in the moment.. loving him, and being hopeful. Not expectant, hopeful.

But lets talk more about why i love him. hehe.. He's so fun to be around. I can be having the worst day imaginable and just a single word from him transforms it all into the best day ever. He's so gentle with me.. loving, patient and understanding. We can talk for hours on end.. about nothing, and still never run out of things to talk about. He's so funny and witty. And his intelligence is just so damn sexy.. ugh i could just listen to him talk forever! Someone needs to come up with a new word that's even more than "I love you" because I love you is just not enough with him anymore. it's just not enough..

It's funny the things one does when one is in love though.. hehe he made a comment about not being a fan of my new diary layout because you could see the girl's twins in the picture i was using. haha it's not even like the picture was of me! but ah well.. even though i liked it, it really wasn't me anyway, so i looked through tons of photos today until i came up with the perfect design that seemed to portray my life at the moment.. San Francisco at night! How perfect, no?! The cool thing is, it also inspires me to work harder.. because how stupid would i look if i moved back to hawaii.. and my diary was of frisco? hehe..

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