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the lowdown Feeling: content An entry! wow, and at pi o'clock no less. I feel guilty that i haven't been updating this thing. Especially considering there's been much development. Well, sort of. Work: It's gotten better, but i am definitely leaving within the next 6 months (hopefully within 3). This woman has hired me to do several albums for her and i'm waiting to hear back from another woman who took my card in the hopes of having me do her albums as well. I've also been trying to put together some extra projects to sell on the side. The Boyfriend: he's.. great. i'm still struggling with the trust issue, but he's been super patient. Last saturday just before i started my class at work, i got a voicemail from him, "hey baby, just wanted to call and say hi- hope you're not doing anything important tonight." My immediate reaction to this is, THE ASS! he thinks i'm going to sit around at home and chat with him on the phone all night? yeah right. lol i know, i'm too proud for my own good sometimes. So he calls me back a couple of hours later. "So what are you doing tonight?" "umm.. going out with friends maybe. why? what are YOU doing?" "ohhhh just driving up to San Francisco to see you." i'm not even joking. the boy drove SEVEN hours just to spend less than 24 hours with me (he had to go home sunday night). He got to my house around 11pm that night. When it got time for him to leave on Sunday night, he started with his usual, "i dont' wanna go home. i'm gonna miss you." I told him he'd be fine. then his face just lit up and he smiled and said, "COME WITH ME!" i looked at him as if he were crazy and he repeated himself, "come with me! we'll drive down and i'll buy you a ticket to fly back home." he's nuts. i must be too, because i went. =P EVEN THOUGH i had plans that night. EVEN THOUGH i had a HEAPLOAD of work to do. EVEN THOUGH i just REALLLLY wanted to hang out in my room and give myself space that weekend. I went. and i'm glad i did. The more time i spend with him, the more i see how sweet of a guy he is. How much he has to offer. I think he's good for me. I flew out of SD on Tuesday morning.. Adam picked me up from Pend|eton and drove me to the airport. It was good seeing him.. i miss our friendship, but i don't miss the half-assness on his end. At one point when we were getting out of his truck to fill up on gas, he said, "you ARE looking good!" That made me smile. Sure, in a way because it's like "see. you screwed up. you couldn't see that before?" but mostly because it makes me feel good to know that my busting my butt in the gym is helping, if even just a tad. The Gym: i've been working out with a trainer, who's super cool. EVEN THOUGH Monkey and J think i should have paid THEM to train me instead. "i'll train you M@rine C0rps style." umm.. no thanks babe. I feel like i need to be doing more though. I'm starting pilates again and i actually need to head out in a bit for a run. SO basically, things are going decently. =) I'm content.. more than i've been in a while. I'm scared, weary, slightly confused.. but i'm going to try on this. I realize what's at stake- my heart, my sanity (lol).. but it's worth it, right?
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