five years
Tues. 08.31.04 - 8:38 p.m.

Feeling: sad, reminiscent
Listening: crash & burn - savage garden
Quote: How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.

Five years ago today i lost the most important thing in the world to me.

Funny how it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. It even sort of feels like i dreamt it all; which is certainly something i feel guilty for.

I wonder what she'd have to say to me now.

In all honesty, I don't think about her as much as I used to. I DO think of her at least once a day, but usually just for a second or two. I don't normally permit myself to think about her, though. I wanted today to go by smoothly. No fuss. Don't think about it, no crying. I did really well.. until i had to write this entry. It forced me to think just how much things have changed. What's missing.

No crying though. I really don't want to cry anymore. I cried for her for way too long. It's time to move on; five years is a lot.

and yet it isn't.

Somehow i managed to allow myself to suppress forget just how much i miss her.

but today i remembered.

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