Citified
Mon. 03.29.04 - 2:55 p.m.

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Oh yeah, i forgot to tell you about the stupid thing i did today (i know, i do something stupid EVERY day, but bear with me).

I had just got out of the BART station and was waiting for my bus to arrive. As i was standing there, this girl (seemed like a fairly sweet white girl despite the 'street' accent) asks me for the time.

I don't have a watch (i keep saying i'm going to get one, but never do) but i pull out my cell phone to check the time. I tell her it's 12:30 p.m.

She says thank you then asks me "Do you think i could use your phone? I'm meeting a friend and he just passed me and i left my phone at home."

Despite my reluctance, i let her use the phone.

I KNOW what you're thinking, and really, i don't want to hear it. because i'm stupid and stubborn that way.

As she's dialing, she goes "don't worry it's a local call." hehe i'm such a dumbarse. (dont' worry, it really was a local call) but the thing is, just as she said this.. my bus pulls up.

I SEE people getting on the bus and i'm just htinking to myself, "please girl, hurry up because i'm going to miss my bus." but i don't say this. I just stand there and let her take her time, and just settle for the fact that i'll just have to wait another 10 minutes 'til the next bus comes. hehe luckily though, she ended her call and i was able to make it just in time to catch my bus.

After she handed me my phone back and said thank you, she saw me walking towards my bus and realized she had almost caused me to miss my bus. She shot a "sorry" my way and i said no problem. Then she wished me a good day.

See? at least i did a "good deed." So what if it almost made me miss my bus. I didn't. and even if i had, it would have just meant 10 more minutes of waiting.

I realized later though, it could have been worse than missing a stupid bus or a long distance phone call. She could have actually ran off with my phone. So i think i won't do that again. Knowing me though, if the person looked trusting enough, i probably would.

Someone slap me.

It's funny, when i was in San Jose last week, i ran into a friend there. She said, "you look different." I asked how so? She replied "I don't know.. you just look different. You look happy and.. City-fied" hehe i realize i'm SO not close to being citified and i probably don't even look it, but had i even dared to think i might have a CHANCE at that.. i realized today that i'm just WAY too naive to be cityish.

Jim was lecturing me a little on this the other day. I was telling him my story of this old dude that hit on me downtown and i said something like "i was walking down the street, staring at my feet and for some reason i thought to look up and-"

he cut me off with "DON'T DO THAT! you're not supposed to do that! you need to keep your head up!"

hehe stupid thing is, I KNOW THIS! it's not something that i don't know. It's just a dumb habit i do. Partly because i'm shy and i hate people looking at me. So i just stay in my own world.. and often it means looking at a downward angle (not eye-level) when i walk.

So in conclusion. I have a lot to work on as far as being more AWARE of the 'dangers' around me. This shall be interesting. hehe I wonder what the city's going to do to me a year from now.

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