Twenty-Four
Wed. 06.02.04 - 9:33 p.m.

Feeling: sorry for myself, but TRYING really hard to be cheerful. stupid flaky people.
Listening: Lose Yourself - Eminem
Quote: If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I haven't really mentioned it to anyone.. i don't like telling people because then they feel like they have to wish you a Happy Birthday, pay attention to you, make a big deal about it. I mean, i dont mind feeling special and all... but to ANNOUNCE my birthday just makes me feel like i'm begging for attention.

Anyway.. I wanted to pierce my belly button but i was going to do it in San Jose. I dont feel like making another trip down there this week- i've already been on Tuesday. So I think i'm going to wait till maybe later this month to do it, we'll see.

I took the day off of work... and i think i've decided what i'm going to do tomorrow. A day by myself.. wandering around the city. I found a hawaiian cafe that has mango cake... which for some reason, even though i don't like sweets, i've been craving. So i'm going to check them out. I was thinking of maybe going to the beach too.

I think that would do me some good.. sitting out on the sand, staring out at the Pacific. I miss the ocean. God, you just don't realize how important things are to you..

After that... i wanted to end the day at Treasure Island. A friend of mine said that it provides the BEST view of the city. I just have to figure out how to get there..

I've been in a great mood lately, so i'm not going to be disappointed by the fact that even though a friend of mine PROMISED me that he'd stay up with me until 3 am (the hour i was born) to be with me for my 24th birthday, he completely FLAKED on me. Nope, not going to be upset one bit.

My friends and I used to do that when we were younger... we'd call or page the birthday girl at the hour she was born. I've always wanted someone to stay up with me.. wish me happy birthday then. It's just one of those things that you decide you want.. and when someone does it you're like- wow! I can't believe they did that, I always wanted that. But maybe i'm weird though. I'm also the person who likes getting phone calls in the middle of the night.

le sigh.

so yeah.

24.

ugh. i don't FEEL twenty-four.

I was talking to Y yesterday. He says i look 32. I tell him that's just cuz he's asian. hehehe. This girl i know, she asked me how old i'm going to be tomorrow. I told her 24. She said "WHAT? I thought you were going to say 18 or 19." umm.. thanks. I think.

See how I just can't be satisfied? heh

bah. Would it be annoying for me to say that even though i'm looking forward to spending the day wandering SF alone.. in my heart I kinda wish I would have been able to spend the day with someone, too. People aren't supposed to be alone on their birthday. That should be the law.

le sigh squared.

Happy Birthday to me. or something.

"I suppose everyone continues to be interested in the quest for the self, but what you feel when you're older, I think, is that. . . you really must make the self." -Mary McCarthy

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