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Loveworthy? I think not! Feeling: So i figured out why i have such an issue with letting go when it comes to *him*. Aside from the fact that he had an amazing personality, almost everything that i ever wanted in a man.. I think letting go meant coming to terms with the fact that it wasn't as wonderful as i thought. Maybe there aren't really men out there like that. I've wanted so hard to believe that he meant it all. That he really did care. That he really was as great as he seemed. But the simple fact of the matter is.. if he had been great, he wouldn't have hurt me. READ THAT AGAIN, GIRL. If he had been as great as you thought he was, he wouldn't have hurt you, lied to you, left you. He'd still be around. John was right. It was a co-dependent relationship. Maybe he did care about me (i don't know, he probably didn't, but my heart can only deal with so much at this point so i'm going to allow it to pretend that he did) in his own way, but i really was a crutch for him in some way. Just like he was for me too. Don't get me wrong, i really did have strong feelings for him.. but they were too fast and too soon. Another thing John said? Dammit i don't remember exactly what he said but it went something like "i'm wary of anyone i find myself attached to within a brief period of time" and it's true. he's a goddamn genius i tell you. Or maybe i'm just a raving lunatic. Most likely both of those are the case. Either way, i'm glad this is all finally over. No more Ethan, and soon there will be no more ex. I can't wait for the day when i can say "gosh i'm so bored" because it will mean that my life has no more drama (remind me of that the next time i'm in a state of ennui). I also realized something. I get bored easily with men. Not like that. What i mean is.. if i'm flirting with you and you don't take the hint right away.. i will move on in a heartbeat. Which makes me wonder why the hell i stuck around with the ex for so long. Yes he was sweet at times, and he tried, he did.. but i mean really, i demand so much more romance from a person. Why did i settle for so little for so long? hmm.. By the by, I read this article the other day. Ugh it was sheer brilliance, i tell you. And i'm reminded of it again now. I need to have it permanently etched into my forehead, though. Or maybe on the back of my hand so i can see it more frequently. Either way, it's good. Basically it was about determining whether or not a person is deserving of your love (SO the perfect article for me, or what?!). My favorite line? Here goes: Some guys are for fun, some are convenient, some are stepping stones, some are huge wastes of time. You just weed through until someone sneaks up and knocks you flat � and you knock them flat too.
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