Broken Promises
Sun. 12.21.03 - 4:55 p.m.

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You know, it's funny how everytime i get too comfortable.. start to get my hopes up.. think that maybe i could deserve all the great things that seem to be coming my way..

life decides to give me a harsh dose of reality.

If you promise someone something.. you should have enough integrity in yourself and respect for them to uphold that promise.

To me, a promise is your oath, your WORD that you will do anything in your power to keep your word. actually it's more than that. it's your oath that you will move heaven and earth to make your promise a reality.. because you care that much.

Ok so obviously someone promised me something and didn't follow through, right. The thing is.. EVERYONE always does this to me. why? now i sound like a nagging five-year-old "no fair!" But it's true. and the only thing that keeps coming to my mind is the saying that "you teach people how to treat you" and i just keep thinking to myself.. what signal am i sending to everyone that tells them it's ok to hurt me? it's ok to lie or break a promise to me? it's ok to break my heart? maybe it's the simple fact that i forgive. i always come back for more. i try not to hold grudges. i don't like being angry.

Maybe i'm jumping to conclusions.. and maybe something happened. But you know what? it ALWAYS seems like SOMETHING happens. it's just too damn convenient already. how much more signs do i have to recieve before i finally get it?

Why can't things just be easy? Why can't i just be in love, have him love me back, and live happily ever after?

blahhh i hate myself right now.

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