Untrustable
Thurs. 09.20.01 - 9:12 a.m.

Feeling:
Listening:
Quote:

I had a rather upsetting dream last night. I dreamt that HB cheated on me. When I found out and confronted him with it, he denied it all. But I knew that he was lying. I knew that he was cheating on me with some girl he met online. greengirl1078. Now, I don't know if there really is a greengirl1078, so like, please don't sue me. But anyways. I think I know why I had this dream. Yesterday, I was talking to someone about the fact that right now, in my life, I feel like I can't trust anyone. Except of course, for HB and a few members of my family. I have no friends here to trust. The ones that I thought were my friends turned out to be completely untrustworthy. hehe.. I can't trust the media, because they distort and exploit the truth. I can't trust the government because they keep things from us also (did anyone else see that episode of 60 Minutes last night?). Some of my family members have proven to be greedy bottom-feeding scum. Can't trust them.

But back to the dream. When I first woke up, I was still in a daze and feeling the after-effects of my dream. I was about to go and check HB's buddylist to see if there was in fact a GreenGirl1078. hehe. Then I realized that I was being ridiculous. It was just a dream. My subconscious. Letting me know that even though i'm sure that the love I have for HB is returned, deep down, i'm still scared. But I guess that's natural for a child who grew up with a father that religiously cheated on her mother. Hmm, I got a little oxymoron there. I just have to recognize that my fears are unwarranted. HB hasn't done anything to show me that he would hurt me like that. I love HB with all of my heart and soul. And I know that he loves me too. And I trust him.

I just got an IM from him:

HB: hey greengirl1078, what is your home address again?
HB: opssss!
HB: OPSS!! wrong window!
Hamakosan: LOL very funny!

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